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I have to disagree with Dutz. Make no mistake - the sentence is poorly phrased. Where I differ is I think she combined two sentences using a comma instead of a semi-colon. I don't think the 'how you write and speak' is another clause or two in the conjunction but is a separate sentence referring back to the sophisticated language and vocabulary flourish.
Hers: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, how you write and speak is very important.'
Correct : 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary; how you write and speak is very important.'
It's even possible she didn't mean to create a conjunctive sentence at all but she was trying to just use flowery language and is a member of the put-a-comma-where-you-pause-when-saying-the-sentence-out-loud club ('Sophistication in your language <pause> your vocabulary <pause> how you write and speak is very important.'). That probably sounded very poetic to her and this is how it came out in writing. Doesn't make it correct though.
If she meant for her sentence to have three or four clauses then first she is a fool who doesn't believe in the Oxford comma. Structurally Dutz is correct but that change alone doesn't make it a better sentence. With the conjunctive sentence the clauses should all use a similar form. Her first two clauses use the 'your [noun]' form so should any remaining forms.
Better: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, your writing, and your speaking/speech/? is very important.'
Somebody with a thesaurus can probably come up with a better word than 'speaking'.
And yes, this is really nit-picky...
Hers: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, how you write and speak is very important.'
Correct : 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary; how you write and speak is very important.'
It's even possible she didn't mean to create a conjunctive sentence at all but she was trying to just use flowery language and is a member of the put-a-comma-where-you-pause-when-saying-the-sentence-out-loud club ('Sophistication in your language <pause> your vocabulary <pause> how you write and speak is very important.'). That probably sounded very poetic to her and this is how it came out in writing. Doesn't make it correct though.
If she meant for her sentence to have three or four clauses then first she is a fool who doesn't believe in the Oxford comma. Structurally Dutz is correct but that change alone doesn't make it a better sentence. With the conjunctive sentence the clauses should all use a similar form. Her first two clauses use the 'your [noun]' form so should any remaining forms.
Better: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, your writing, and your speaking/speech/? is very important.'
Somebody with a thesaurus can probably come up with a better word than 'speaking'.
And yes, this is really nit-picky...
Hers: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, how you write and speak is very important.'
Correct : 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary; how you write and speak is very important.'
It's even possible she didn't mean to create a conjunctive sentence at all but she was trying to just use flowery language and is a member of the put-a-comma-where-you-pause-when-saying-the-sentence-out-loud club ('Sophistication in your language <pause> your vocabulary <pause> how you write and speak is very important.'). That probably sounded very poetic to her and this is how it came out in writing. Doesn't make it correct though.
If she meant for her sentence to have three or four clauses then first she is a fool who doesn't believe in the Oxford comma. Structurally Dutz is correct but that change alone doesn't make it a better sentence. With the conjunctive sentence the clauses should all use a similar form. Her first two clauses use the 'your [noun]' form so should any remaining forms.
Better: 'Sophistication in your language, your vocabulary, your writing, and your speaking/speech/? is very important.'
Somebody with a thesaurus can probably come up with a better word than 'speaking'.
And yes, this is really nit-picky...