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+--- Thread: To tell or not to Tell (/thread-1211.html)
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To tell or not to Tell - Fireman - 04-02-2015
I am new to carrying. My question is this.
Do you tell friends if you get in their vehicle or go over to their house you carry?
Do you tell family members other than the ones you live with that you carry when you go their house?
Thanks for any replies.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - XdEric - 04-02-2015
Personally, I would not. My friends like to tell everyone that I work for a gun store and brag for me. If i carried, I would not want everyone to say anything. Family member would be a different story. I guess it all depend who and how big they're mouth is lol.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Karl B - 04-02-2015
I don't automatically notify.
My parents, one friend, and a guy who owns a gun shop know I carry. I care more about who a person might tell than how they feel about it.
Another thing to consider on the friend/family issue is who you typically hug when you see them. That's an easy way to get found out, depending on where on the body you carry. If I'm going to a family party or the like where hugs are bound to happen, I usually leave it in the car.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Dutz - 04-02-2015
Here is a similar poll.
Do you tell your friends and family you carry a pen in your pocket?
I am serious. I see no difference.
If a friend came to my house and said, "You should know I am carrying a gun" I would say. "So what. Why would you tell me that?"
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Rodney - 04-02-2015
Many reasons not to tell. No reason that you should tell.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Fireman - 04-02-2015
I was looking at it as a respect thing. Just as they can respect my choice to carry I can respect their choice if they did not want me to carry in their home or car. If I went along with a friend in their vehicle somewhere I was curious what others do. Same as going into their house they may prefer I not carry in their house.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Karl B - 04-02-2015
Don't focus on the fact that you are carrying. Forget you are. Would you still walk into their house?
They won't know if you don't tell them.
Out of respect, if you know that person wouldn't want you to carry in their home, then either don't or choose not to go. If they are indifferent or you aren't sure, carry on.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - bradberry - 04-02-2015
The way I look at it is that it is always on me and its always a part of who I am. One will never know if it is on me or not...unless the time comes for it to be known.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - OldGnome - 04-03-2015
I have not yet started carrying, but I have been working toward that. A good friend has started carrying and he has told me - mostly because we go target shooting together, have shopped for guns, ammo and holsters together, etc. When I start carrying, I will tell my wife and this good friend. No one else needs to know.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Dutz - 04-03-2015
I understand wanting to be respectful I just don't think there is any relationship between this and being respectful.
It's no different than any other private thing.
Should a gay man tell everyone he meets he is gay so that person can leave if they don't like it?
Should a conservative tell his liberal friends so they can ask him to leave?
Do you hand them a list of all the contents in your car, wallet, or your closet at home?
I don't mean to be flippant, but frankly it's none of their business.
But there is a larger issue. You've heard the saying you can't love someone until you love yourself. Well, you can't expect others to respect your rights when you don't respect your own rights.
The biggest obstacle we face in advancing our rights is WE still think we owe explanations like this. We think putting on a gun is like dressing up in Goth apparel and WE act like we are some kind of outcast or freak. We rail against what Bloomberg and the MOMs say about us, but we act like deep down we believe them.
And I am not talking about being right and shoving it on someone's face. We are talking about revealing a private thing.
My gun in my holster is private, and it's no one's business but mine.
And unless we all start understanding and thinking like that, we will lose.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - BelieveIn308 - 04-03-2015
Dutz, that was well said and the correct way to handle it.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Fireman - 04-03-2015
Thanks for all the responses.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - mikereddot - 04-03-2015
(04-03-2015, 06:49 AM)Dutz Wrote: I understand wanting to be respectful I just don't think there is any relationship between this and being respectful.
It's no different than any other private thing.
Should a gay man tell everyone he meets he is gay so that person can leave if they don't like it?
Should a conservative tell his liberal friends so they can ask him to leave?
Do you hand them a list of all the contents in your car, wallet, or your closet at home?
I don't mean to be flippant, but frankly it's none of their business.
But there is a larger issue. You've heard the saying you can't love someone until you love yourself. Well, you can't expect others to respect your rights when you don't respect your own rights.
The biggest obstacle we face in advancing our rights is WE still think we owe explanations like this. We think putting on a gun is like dressing up in Goth apparel and WE act like we are some kind of outcast or freak. We rail against what Bloomberg and the MOMs say about us, but we act like deep down we believe them.
And I am not talking about being right and shoving it on someone's face. We are talking about revealing a private thing.
My gun in my holster is private, and it's no one's business but mine.
And unless we all start understanding and thinking like that, we will lose.
VERY WELL SAID DAN! Just like the left says all the time...."The debate is over"
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Brian S - 04-04-2015
The only time I'd tell a friend is if we're headed somewhere and that evil No Firearms sign is on the door
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Crossbow - 04-06-2015
If your friend doesn't know you well enough to know that you carry, he is either not really your friend or you aren't his. My friends and family don't have to ask because they know me. I carry all the time, rain or shine. I don't just carry one gun either and they know that too. Most go with me to the range and we are all confident in each others abilities. If your friends can't accept you carry, get new friends because those friends are just pansies who would have to depend on you to protect them instead of using their own firearm for their own protection.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Crossbow - 04-06-2015
Seriously what would rather have when the excrement hit the fan, some pansy standing behind you, or a practiced marksman next to you shooting the bad guys with you??
RE: To tell or not to Tell - mikereddot - 04-06-2015
(04-06-2015, 09:35 PM)Crossbow Wrote: If your friend doesn't know you well enough to know that you carry, he is either not really your friend or you aren't his.
Well said!!!
Welcome to the our forum.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Fireman - 04-07-2015
(04-06-2015, 09:47 PM)mikereddot Wrote:(04-06-2015, 09:35 PM)Crossbow Wrote: If your friend doesn't know you well enough to know that you carry, he is either not really your friend or you aren't his.
Well said!!!
Welcome to the our forum.
First welcome to the forum.
Maybe you did not see the first post which says I am new to carrying. So it has absolutely nothing to do with whether he is not really my friend or I his. It was a simple question of if you tell them or not. We as new to either carrying or even new to guns themselves are here to learn from others who have been carrying for a while or have expertise in questions asked. Just like the first time I walked into Red Dot they had the expertise to help me choose a weapon.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Karl B - 04-07-2015
The fact of the matter is when asking a question like this, you are bound to get everyone's personal take on the matter, and then some. It's a pretty personal topic.
Hopefully the replies help, but at the end of the day, do what feels right. Everyone's situation is different, so a lot of what we say may not apply to you, but hopefully gives you something to chew on. There is no right answer.
As someone who has been carrying for almost a year, I hope that helps.
RE: To tell or not to Tell - Crossbow - 04-07-2015
I saw the post and my answer stands. I am glad you woke up that it isn't a cops responsibility to protect you and yours but your responsibility. To carry was a good decision on your part. Now if your friends don't understand that basic supposition my answer stands, you need new friends. As a responsible carry owner you are welcome at my table. The more guns the better.